Funny Quotes
By, with, or about, Beasign.
At Some Point in Time.
Beasign: “Even if that’s a (?)-year-old with an enlarged ego and lots of hidden freckles?”
Someone: “Especially if that (?) year old ego enlarged hidden freckled girl is you <3″
Tuesday, August 11th, 2009.
H.: “And to make the economy crash, I’ll buy up all Google’s stock and invest it into ShamWow.”
Beasign: “You, my friend, are awesome. And that would be an awesome plan, except that the economy has already crashed. It is simply in denial.”
H.: “You are brilliant.”
Beasign: “Why thank you. I plan to take over the world with my brilliance…”
H.: “And where do I fall into the plan?”
Beasign: “Why, right into my pocket, of course.”
H.: “Wow. That’s gotta be a BIG pocket.”
Beasign: “Or you must be really small.”
Be warned there are slight lewd comments in these next quotes.
H.: “So, how do we overthrow the leaders of the world?”
Beasign: “Here is my plan… *Bea leans over and whispers several sentences in his ear, with the words “sparkly” “purple” and “chocolate” coming out, but nothing else.*
H.: “Egad Bea BRILLIANT!…wait, wait… if men were meant to fly, we’d come with little bags of nuts.”
Beasign: “*Bea slaps herself in the face and sighs.* (?), dearest, I know you’re not gay, but you are a guy… so… think about it… men do…”
End lewd comments.
Beasign: “But the aliens already got your brains!”
H.: “No, see, they’re part of my army. They’re working for me. They only THINK they have my brains.”
Beasign: “Wonderfully. However, what that has to do with men flying, I’ll never know.”
Beasign: “Oh, and tell your doctor if he doesn’t fix you I will personally see to it that he discovers just what the yellow tape and bright, pink butterfly wings are for.”
Wednesday, August 12th, 2009.
H.: “BARK!”
Thursday, August 13th, 2009.
Beasign: “Let’s do something completely unexpected, something so amazing abnormal, that people will talk about it for years… and then, when those same people expect something else abnormal, let’s do something totally normal.”
H.: “Now there’s an idea.”
H.: “What mythical creatures do you have?”
None quote answer: Ghouls in the basement and dragons in the attic, Fairies in the flowers and a Gryphon under in boat house, monsters in the pool, and maybe a Loch Ness Monster or two (well, really, how’d you expect them to breed?).
Saturday, August 22nd, 2009.
Mary: “Shoot, I forgot Shanley.”
Directly after that comment, Mum drove off to pick up Shanley where she left her. When she got back, this exchange took place:
Beasign: “So, Shanley, how does it feel to be forgotten?”
Shanley: “I KNEW you were going to say that.”
Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009.
Beasign: “… preferably a way that involves hot coco and fruit around 4:30.”
Tuesday, September 8th, 2009.
Beasign: “That totally trumps the garlic salt, damn it.”
